Fucktards stole my car!

"not a McClaren, but it's the closest I'll probably get" © the cinemascapist 2008

I was still awake at 1:30am watching the M*A*S*H movie last night when I hit the mute button on my remote to listen to two drunks walking past my house talking loud as can be and shouting. Next thing I hear is a car door shut and a car take off. It took me only a few seconds to realize it sounded like my engine and my car. I ran to the window and sure enough there was an empty street where my car was sitting only moments ago.

Now anyone local can tell you that crime is pretty non-existent in our little tranquil village and most folks I know leave their keys in their cars, either in the glove box or the console. Needless to say, it wasn't difficult to take my car. 2 minutes later I have 2 cop cars outside the house and the hunt is on. They call the State Police to watch the outskirts while the local cops scour the village. No more than 25 minutes later a car pulls up out front and to my surprise, it's mine! Two guys get out and run off. I call the cops and explain that their search was terrible and the freaking car was dropped back off outside my house. Now it's a foot hunt with floodlights and backyard searches.

I gave the car a once over and it was fine. They actually parked it nicely, left it in first and kindly used the e-brake. Nothing was taken, nothing was damaged, and nothing was different at all. Later the cops explain to me that local kids have been taking advantage of the keys-left-in-cars situation in town and have been making errands in the wee hours while the owners sleep. Simple things like picking up girlfriends or scoring a bag of weed in the next town over. Given that they returned it so nicely and swifty, it made me wonder if they've been using my car for weeks or months? Just this time I was still awake watching M*A*S*H and heard them.

Still pretty lame and now I have to jingle when I walk with a pocket full o' keys. Damn kids!

EDIT: it makes the local morning newspaper:
http://www.adirondackdailyenterprise.com/page/content.detail/id/508244.html?nav=5008

ADDITIONAL NOTE: as most of you know my cinemascapes are semi-autobiographical. I'm sure at some point in the future this story will make it into a shoot. Particularly the part where I am butt naked in my living room looking out my window with a cell phone talking to the cops in one hand and a giant kitchen knife in the other.